Healing Process Top 10

I wish I could say that cutting out grains, sugar, gluten, and processed food was the one and only answer and that I was suddenly cured from all of my malaise, fatigue, aches, and stomach problems. It was not that easy.
A change in my diet was certainly the most important step I took to heal (which is why it's #1 in my list). But after an immune/neurological reaction to a flu shot in 2011, I needed more help than just eating gluten-free. The following are what I would rate as the top 10 methods that I discovered to help me slowly recover and get more quality of life back.

10. Improving sleep:
     Getting good sleep with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) is like trying to catch a fish with your bare hands. This is a chicken vs. egg issue. My sleep improved as a result of my diet and health improving, but I also took steps to improve my chances to sleep well.

• I try to shower or take a warm bath before bed. 
• I have to strictly avoid laptop and phone use for at least 2 hours or more before bed
• I have blue light blocking glasses that I use to watch TV before bed (cheap on Amazon)
• I keep the lights lower and use candles and yellow bulbs for late evening lighting.
• I try to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day.
• I don't use an alarm unless absolutely necessary. If my body needs extra sleep (always around periods, extra stress, and viruses), then I let it do its thing.
• Currently trying out a "brown noise" mp3 at night (lower frequency than white noise).

9. Filtered water and herbal tea:
    I used to rely on our fridge filter to clean our tap water. Then I learned that it only removed chlorine *odor,* not chlorine itself. That was enough for me to desire some extra filtration since chlorine in the water can hamper the intestines recovering normal bacterial balance. We use a hand-held filter from Grayl. I fill with water, slowly press the filter down (bicep workout), and pour. All the water I drink and cook with daily goes through the Grayl.

I drink plain water regularly throughout the day. Using this water to make organic herbal tea (no additives or flavorings) has helped my liver and digestion significantly:

• milk thistle, liver support
• ginger and licorice, stomach/nausea aid and adrenal support
• Numi Green Rooibos, overall antioxidant benefit - increased by adding lemon juice
• Gaia Gas and Bloating or peppermint, gas/bloating
• Tulsi or ashwagandha - Adaptogenic teas like these can help manage stress. They usually give me funny side effects like drowziness or being extremely wired or diarrhea. If you make it in weak tea form, you can experiment with how you may react with as little fallout as possible.

8. Natural bath and cosmetic products:
    If I'm being careful about what I put in my mouth, I need to be careful about what I put on my skin. Since I didn't want to absorb all the chemicals in soaps and deodorants, I gradually switched to products with ingredients that wouldn't put an added strain on my body.

Some favorite brands I found:

• Organic Excellence shampoo and conditioner (free shipping through EarthTurns.com)
• Just So soaps by Andrea Fabry
• Salubritas deodorant (alternatively, plain coconut oil works fine in winter)
• Recently decided to order a non-baking soda deodorant from "Meow Meow Tweet" to try based on rash/irritation from the high pH of baking soda. This product is incredible!
• Ecco Bella and RMS Beauty makeup
• Nature's Gate toothpaste
• Ancient Minerals magnesium lotion or gel (instead of supplements that gave me cramping and diarrhea)

7. Natural probiotics:
   Nothing on this list has caused me more difficulty than finding probiotics I can tolerate. I have been through tons of "probiotic phases." There was the water kefir phase, the store-bought almond yogurt and lactose-free yogurt phase, homemade almond yogurt, soy yogurt, and coconut yogurt phase, homemade dairy kefir and coconut kefir, Phillips colon health capsules, wrapping up with local fermented pickles, and grass-fed Maple Hill Creamery yogurt (dairy). I could probably create an entirely new blog about failed attempts at eating probiotics.

The ones I like right now:

• Maple Hill Creamery yogurt requires no homemade hassle, but it is grass-fed dairy and can give me some digestive problems if I eat too much of it, especially in the winter when the diet of the cows changes. I can't promote dairy consumption unless it's fermented dairy to get probiotics. If kefir works for you, I'd recommend that over yogurt.
• Fermented pickles offer a dairy alternative. You can make these in a mason jar or find a local company/farmer's market that offers a line of fermented foods.
• Redwood Hill Farm Plain Goat Yogurt - Currently under trial and loving it.

6. Natural antifungals:
   I could not have healed without regular dosing of antifungals. Looking back, I went at the dosing too aggressively and wish I would have been more patient. However, it was a good learning experience. I initially took supplements of olive leaf and oregano oil. I still use Gaia olive leaf periodically when I get a virus which greatly reduces my symptoms. I would not ever recommend long-term use of olive leaf or oregano oil like I did. Topical use of oregano oil has recently helped heal an infection under my eye.

Harmless ways to fight bacterial, parasitic, and fungal problems:

• Cold pressed, unprocessed organic coconut oil (I cook with this and eat it daily.)
• Garlic (crushed raw garlic in guacamole or on gluten-free toast is incredibly effective)
• Crushed papaya seeds (taken with honey or in a smoothie can be an effective anti-parasitic)
• Peppermint (capsules can treat bacterial overgrowth)

Ways to be more aggressive under doctor supervision:

• Olive leaf extract (I relied on this completely to treat my unresolved viral symptoms)
• Oregano oil (took for a short time (a couple weeks) to take a break from olive leaf)
• Candicid-Forte (recommended by integrative health MD - no harmful effects from it)
• Turmeric (eventually raised my liver enzymes with daily use for about a year, so obviously would not recommend long-term)

5. Soaking in detox baths:
   Oh the relief!  I cannot imagine healing without detox baths. It would be intolerable to bear with all the symptoms as my body struggled to remove the toxins building up during treatment. When I took too much of an antifungal or overdid it on the probiotics, I got such relief from soaking in a bath of:

• Epsom salts
• Bentonite clay

4. Whole food organic multivitamin:
    The number of failed attempts at finding a tolerable multivitamin approached the level of my probiotic hunt. I even took a break and decided I should juice vegetables to get vitamins instead. I had so many opened and unusable vitamin bottles at one point that I had to do a mass email to my female friends to find new homes for them. Most people can take a normal vitamin and be ok. I had strange side effects, even on the most premium brands - feeling wired, diarrhea, abnormal spotting from added herbs, and sometimes I just didn't see the point of trying anymore pills. Finally, after I'd given up, my mom found THE one.

The brand that agreed with me and gave me a natural feeling of energy and well-being...

• Garden of Life myKind Organics, Women's Once Daily

3. Stretching with easy yoga and basic Tai chi/qi gong:
  Undoubtedly the best maintenance for my health and mood is my stretching routine. This helps clear my lymph system, increase circulation, helps me sleep, and makes me feel all-around better than any pill or supplement. I do DVDs at home that I tried first for free through the library:

• Easy Yoga with Suzanne Deason - I started with this DVD because I could lie down for most of it. Here is a preview of the first 5 minutes.
• Discover Tai chi with Scott Cole - I prefer his Fitness and Back Care DVDs. I would recommended starting with his Beginners DVD to see if you like his teaching style. Special note: I could not do these Tai chi DVDs until my diet changes allowed me to stand up.

2. Gut healing with bone broth:
   The main point of all of this treatment is to heal the gut. For a long time, I didn't think I needed to do anything other than maintain my diet and wait for the antifungals to work. This was a big mistake. My healing really accelerated when I got on the bone broth and gelatin wagon. I had taken L-glutamine powder prior to this, and it did help the lining of my gut heal (a good start), but it was nothing compared to supplemental gelatin (Great Lakes brand is grass-fed - green can/hydrolysate dissolves in smoothies and red can/gelatin makes actual jello, which is what I prefer) and homemade bone broth (natural gelatin). Eating grass-fed gelatin/jello daily finally gave me relief from unbearable period cramping and PMS. Over time, I have gravitated toward the bone broth for my gelatin source because of its additional nutritional and healing benefits.
 [I have also added in a whole-food zinc supplement which I have read can work to heal the intestine from ulcerative colitis as well as correct deficiencies common with digestive problems like leaky gut.]


Easy bone broth recipe:

• Enjoy a roasted organic "Smart Chicken" for dinner.
• Wrap the remaining bones, fat, meat, and joints to put in the fridge.
• The next morning, put the entire carcass and skin in a pot with 8-10 cups of filtered water.
• In large chunks, chop up about 3-4 medium organic carrots and 3-4 stalks of organic celery.
• Add 1 tsp salt.
• Add 1 Tablespoon raw organic apple cider vinegar. (this extracts minerals from bones)
• In large chunks, chop up 1 medium organic onion.
• Peel and crush a few cloves of garlic.
• Optional: fresh leaves of parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme 

Bring to a boil, then cover and lower to a low simmer for about 7-8 hours. At night, you can strain out all the remaining bones and vegetables and pour into mason jars to store in the fridge for 3-4 days. If you want to keep it longer, you can freeze in an ice cube tray and thaw when needed.


1. Complete dedication to an anti-inflammatory diet:
   There is a lot I can say about an anti-inflammatory diet that I have learned since the last time I wrote about diet here. I plan to make the next post entirely about how my diet changed and how I stuck with it without feeling completely deprived.

The most important changes I made to my diet are:

• Cut out all added sugar
• Cut out ALL gluten
• Avoid dairy (other than small amounts of fermented dairy for probiotics)
• Avoid grains (small amounts of organic rice/rice pasta or gluten-free Udi bread are ok for me)
• Avoid ALL junk processed foods, additives, dyes, sugar substitutes
• Increased healthy fats (avocado, organic olive oil, organic coconut oil, soaked organic nuts)
• Increased organic vegetable intake 
• Increased the quality of meat when possible - grass-fed organic beef, organic poultry, wild fish

This is a lot of information to take in. If you have any questions about my experiences, please post in the comments! Many of these lifestyle changes occurred gradually through trial and (much) error over the course of years. If you feel overwhelmed and want to make one change right away, I would encourage all people with dysautonimia or autoimmune symptoms to talk with their doctor about going off gluten (all grains if possible), dairy, and sugar/processed white carbs right away and staying off of them. These are not groups of food necessary for our health, and they are widely known to increase inflammation in the body, worsening whatever health issues already exist.

Please be encouraged that progress can be slow but possible; it takes years to recover. Some days I felt worse when I was healing than before I started, but then I would suddenly get a burst of functioning better than I had in months, and it would help me to keep going.

Next blog will be about diet...

The Healing Process Reboot

I had the best of intentions.

Back in August 2014, I started what I planned to be a series about my healing process. That series ..uhh...didn't really materialize. It was a combination of things. I was still experimenting with new supplements like gelatin (quite successfully). I was overwhelmed by the task of trying to accurately assemble names of brands and foods that have proved helpful. I felt inadequate to express all the information that I'd learned about gut health. Combine that with a slew of big life changes, and here I am in 2016. Ready for a reboot. My desire is to share what I've learned about my own health in order to hopefully help others.

As a health history refresher, I've always had stomach and sinus issues as far back as I can remember. Removing lactose from my diet and avoiding environmental allergens in childhood seemed to help. In high school (1995), I got a severe case of mono that required steroids. After that, I was never quite the same, and in 1998, my family discovered black toxic mold in the air of our home. We had to leave everything behind, and my health was badly damaged in the process. I was unable to get enough sleep and often could not function to go to school because of the body aches and extreme fatigue.

Once I left that environment, I felt better and was able to go to college, but during the transitional housing and dorm living, I was routinely exposed to pesticides that caused severe and worsened symptoms. My mold exposure had led to multiple chemical sensitivity. With some careful planning through disability services at college and managing my living environment at home, I successfully completed my engineering degree.

In graduate school, I ate poorly, was under tremendous stress with little sleep, and got sick. I took antibiotics, cold medicine, and inhalers to try to keep myself going, but instead I collapsed one morning at church in 2005. I was never able to truly function after that. I was completely disabled and stuck in bed. After meeting with a cardiologist and doing a tilt-table test, I was diagnosed with POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) which is a type of dysautonomia. I also suffered from chronic fatigue-like symptoms, severe irritable bowel syndrome, severe circadian rhythm disorder called "non-24," and ongoing multiple chemical sensitivities (along with asthma and allergies).

From 2005 - 2010, I attempted to manage my symptoms based on western medicine. I drank Gatorade, ate pretzels and salty foods. I wore compression stockings. I took Florinef and a beta blocker which worsened my constant dizziness. I had a horrible experience trying birth control to suppress my awful, painful periods. Nothing worked. I only felt miserable. I couldn't sit up for meals many times. Forcing myself to walk or exercise just left me exhausted and needing to recover for days. I was incredibly discouraged and felt my life slipping away. I was often awake at night and slept during the day. After hoping and training for a career in medical research, I was now stuck at home, watching TV, and when I had enough mental energy, trying to figure out what had gone wrong with my body and how to fix it.

My turning point came in 2010. I looked online to see who treated chronic fatigue syndrome, and I found an integrative health MD who did just that. My first meetings with her were not what I had anticipated. She kept wanting to focus on my intestines and suggested using a pretty potent anti-fungal medication. I didn't understand this because my symptoms were cardiac and neurological. I agreed to try the least risky of her treatment suggestions, an extreme change in diet. I temporarily cut out all sources of simple and complex carbohydrates (grains), processed food, and sugar. No desserts, juice, cereal, pasta, popcorn, bread, or any of those comfort foods I clung to like life preservers.

And an amazing thing happened. After a couple weeks, my dizziness stopped. Chronic, unrelenting, disabling, 24/7 dizziness was suddenly no longer dominating my life. I was in shock. The extreme diet change of lean meat and vegetables had opened my eyes, and although it was not sustainable due to weight loss and nutritional needs, I was on a new mission. I was going to figure out exactly what this connection was between diet and POTS.

~.~.~

I'm not sure exactly how I will do these new posts, but I have a lot more confidence looking back now. I've come much further in my healing. I have a good grasp on what works for me and what doesn't. I've narrowed down my remedies to simpler and easier fixes. I've experienced the gradual renewal of patiently practicing these remedies over years.

A Dystopian Tango

A few weeks ago, I was watching Dancing with the Stars for switch-up week. A contestant named Alexa had blanked on part of her performance the week before, suffering a dip in scores, and she felt discouraged when her partner Mark kept telling her she might be eliminated. But she got a new partner (Derek) for the switch-up, who told her she could overcome her fears. She believed him, and with his help, scored the first perfect straight 10s of the season.

This kind of thing happens often over the seasons of the show. Some troubling event will spark a contestant to fight back and perform beyond what they dreamed possible. What made this particular dance so meaningful to me? Why did I watch it at breakfast the next day with tears in my eyes?

I asked myself those questions as I kept replaying the song in my head. The lyrics of Pompeii by Bastille go like this:

I was left to my own devices
Many days fell away with nothing to show

And the walls kept tumbling down
In the city that we love
Great clouds roll over the hills
Bringing darkness from above

But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this? 

Even from the first 2 lines of the song, I felt it echo words I've used for years to describe chronic illness - the long days on the couch or in bed, the helplessness and the powerlessness, the failed attempts to soothe my aching soul with things of this world. And the walls of my family that kept tumbling down as my grandma slowly deteriorated, as my dad fell away, as the process of waiting for God to miraculously fix our trauma caused my hope to grow dim.

But this is where the lyrics and the dance came together to move me to to tears. As I watched Derek move Alexa around the dance floor, I thought of all the times I "closed my eyes" - either in despair, or exhaustion, or prayer - and it was another step in my complex dance with Jesus. As I'm watching Alexa hanging on, Derek calling out where to go, guiding her as she's thrown down, lifted back up,  I'm thinking, through all of this pain, God has never changed. He's the same gracious, merciful God, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. And although I have not yet received that "miracle moment" I hoped for, we have moved far beyond the "baby-faith" I had when this began. He moves; I hang on. He moves; we separate and return. We move together.

As the dance ends and a few other dancers embrace and circle around them, it mirrored the very thing that had happened to me. A handful of understanding and compassionate people came around to walk with me as I stepped forward.

So I smiled through the tears of knowing an aching joy, that Jesus has been leading me through a broken city that I loved, great clouds rolling over, and me thinking, "how am I going to be an optimist about this?" in so many terrible circumstances. And I realized how far I have come to be married, to be healing, to be coming out of a long, dark, and lonely place with my love for Christ having been battered and thrown and tested at every stage.

Just like Alexa heard the message that she might be eliminated, I too battle the fear that I don't measure up, that I should freeze and not try to move forward because I might fail or it might hurt too much. But when I recently read in the Bible about Nehemiah's struggle to rebuild (coincidentally) the "walls of the city that he loved," I recognized how intricately the work of evil is tied up in fear. Fear is the tool of evil, like a hot poker, trying to imobilize me, trying to make me back down from what I'm building for God.

But fear has no ultimate power over someone who loves Jesus. Can things we fear happen? Yes. The walls can come down. People can block our progress. We can get sick and even die. But with Jesus leading us through, we will finish well. Don't give up whatever justice you are fighting for. Don't give in and sit down and give up because of fear.

As Vaneetha Rendall says in The Loneliness of Suffering:

Read the Bible even when it feels like eating cardboard. And pray even when it feels like talking to a wall.

Continue to dance with Jesus, even if you need to just collapse into his strong grip and let him carry you forward.

"Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world."
1 John 4:4

The Wound

Years ago, while pet sitting for a friend, I received a nasty dog bite. I still have a faint scar in between my middle and ring finger where the tooth sunk in, deep. I ran water over it right away to rinse the area, and at the ER, they had me soak it and bandaged me up, sending me home with an antibiotic.

However, when I followed up with my doctor, she unwrapped the gauze to reveal an ominously swollen, pink hand, knuckles lost in the rapidly advancing infection.

In spite of the fact that the sides of the skin had come together, there was still bacteria deep down inside, causing pain, pressure and growing rapidly. The surface appeared to heal, but I still had to address the deep wound.

As I've progressed in my physical healing journey through slow, deliberate diet and lifestyle changes over several years, I have gained new ground. Now I can go out to do multiple errands. I can plan a wedding. I can attend special events. Rejoining society in this way is complicated. I have been through deep, lingering darkness that made me rethink where I derive my worth, purpose, and identity, suffering that exposed my utter inadequacies and left me completely, excruciatingly dependent. I've also experienced rejection and isolation, loss of relationships so dear that I felt the grief of gradual death, though the people I mourned lived on.

So last Thursday, as I drove along the highway to the salon, the sunshine streaming in, the radio cheerily celebrating my new level of functioning and stamina, I felt in that moment as if I'd suddenly resurfaced where my head went underwater 10 years ago. It's as if nothing has changed on that same route I used to drive to college, and yet, everything has changed.

Though I appear no different, I'm not the same person I was before the fainting and the chronic dizziness, before the caregiving and the loss of my job, home, safety, grandparents, and father. But all that life experience is now trapped like an infection in a wound I don't know how to heal. The two sides of skin look the same and have come together on the surface, but the puncture of this last decade has profoundly altered who I am.

I write not with any answers or insight, not with any scripture or prayer. I write simply as an expression of how I'm processing these changes taking place, and the ambiguous path of living with one foot in the sick world and one foot back in shopping malls, restaurants, social chit-chat, and grocery stores.

Who am I now that I've been out of the workforce for so long? Where is my place? What is my purpose with some new energy? When I marry, what will this new life look like? How will I continue to help my mom as she struggles with ongoing problems?

I don't have the answers, so I keep looking to God with a dim, fragile hope that he will restore and redeem what I still cannot fix.

In Daniel 11, a detailed vision about the future presents many kings that rise and fall, leading to the end of days. Reading it is like reading a soap opera of characters that all try to exert their will and power to obtain something of meaning in this life. I scanned it with lazy eyes and reluctantly studied the scholarly notes attached.

In the small print, I found a kernel of encouragement for this time of confusion:
"Pious Jews would readily fall into bewilderment: how do these circumstances display God's concern for his people, and how will God ever use his now-insignificant people to bring blessing to the whole world? The vision is therefore reassurance for the faithful."

There is a way forward with the promises of God. Elsewhere in Daniel, I see that it's possible to get thrown into a fiery trial and come out not smelling of smoke. It's also possible to get thrown into a fiery trial and pass away. Regardless of what comes to pass here on earth, we have a God who knows the end from the beginning, and he, more than anyone, knows both the pain and the redemptive nature of deep wounds and scars.

A Friday that didn't seem "Good."

During the month of April, I'm reading Rachel Lundy's new 30-day devotional called "Hope for the Hard Days." (Click on the link and download it for free!)

Today is day 3, and the topic is about hope. Rachel is familiar with chronic illness and expressed the difference between "hope" that is a wish for better physical days and biblical hope in God that is certain to provide both spiritual growth on earth and an eternity of health and joy.

I thought about how it's my everyday circumstances that really challenge my faith. I see and experience injustice that goes on and on. Even when I feel like God could or should intervene, he just doesn't, and I don't know why. I wish for my situation to change, and in some ways, it has improved greatly. But there is still the root of betrayal and persecution that has left a gaping, painful void of grief in my life. This pain reverberates and affects everything I plan and do. How do I maintain my hope when God doesn't act in the way and in the timing I wish?

To be honest, it has been brutally hard. I have struggled with limited energy and motivation to study God's word, and I have days when my Bible remains closed. I have pushed forward with bursts of prayer but then slacken when I feel as if nothing I say matters or is getting through. Today, I had some quiet time to read through Habakkuk. It's only 3 chapters, but it contains some of the most powerful questions and answers in scripture when it comes to why God appears silent.

Habakkuk questions where God is, why he permits arrogant, evil people to destroy his own people, and why God allows this injustice to keep going.

By the end of the book, God has promised that if Habakkuk will wait, he will see the incredible plan of justice and mercy God is going to unfold. Habakkuk says: "I will quietly wait for the day of trouble to come upon people who invade us." God will indeed act.

Habakkuk looked back and saw God's pattern in history - of vindicating those who trust in him. "The righteous shall live by his faith," God encouraged him. If we maintain our sure hope in who God is, if we look at what he created, if we look back at his character and the cords of his plan woven through history, we can trust he is at work in our own lives in the same way.

Good Friday is the best time to remember that our hope is in a living God, not circumstantial highs or lows. Jesus, perfect in all respects, was falsely accused, condemned, beaten, and hung on a cross as a completely innocent man. When he died, circumstances told his followers and friends that there was no hope. Death was the final word in human thinking. But God's plan required waiting until Sunday.

Often I feel the weight of living in that Friday state of grief - watching injustice happen, seeing wrong judgments made, being powerless, wondering where God is. But the knowledge that God resurrected Christ from the dead gives me the boldness to hope in something more than what I see or experience. It gives me certain hope in God himself.

If you are living in Friday grief, remember that Sunday is coming and don't lose hope. He is the God of all comfort. We can trust in him.

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
Though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,
Though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,

Yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to go on the heights.
Habakkuk 3:17-19

The Glory of God

Sometimes I get so caught up in my own little world, my own pain, my own questions and doubts and fears that I lose sight that God is ruler over all the earth. When he stretches beauty like a canvas across the cold January sky, I look up and remember who created me, who stretched out the heavens, who is really in charge, and my heart can rest for that moment in wonder.

"Holy,
   Holy,
     Holy is the LORD of hosts.

The whole earth is full of his glory!"
Isaiah 6:3

Not Home Yet

Ever feel like you don't belong? Feel like having faith is sometimes just too hard? I have been tempted to give up on faith, and in fact, I had drifted away from God when a study on Hebrews started at my church this fall.

I made excuses. I said I was tired of filling in the blanks on workbooks. I said I was behind in my personal Bible reading. I said I didn't want one more commitment, one more semester of homework that seemed like school. But the first lesson, the first verse of Hebrews 2 called me back. Like a boat that had pulled out into the current, I suddenly felt the tug of the rope back to my anchor.

"Therefore we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it."

And that's when my study began to be more than filling in spaces on a worksheet. It became personal. Jesus was at the center of this book written to the Hebrew Christians about Old Testament history, and the call to hold fast and persevere while under pressure was unmistakable.

How will you remain encouraged when all hope seems dim? How will you keep believing when God doesn't answer your prayers for years? 

Remember you are a stranger in this world. There is something better coming. We get glimpses of heaven here. When your spirit gasps in awe at beauty, love, exquisite detail, and delight, for that split second, remember the power of God which overcame death in Jesus. He swallowed up death forever and will wipe every tear when we reach our rest. We wait for him, and he is our very great reward.

These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.
Hebrews 11:13-16