My son is a builder. He uses Legos like an artist, inspired by all kinds of vehicles. Over a year ago, his curiosity was piqued by the Yellow Delivery Truck Lego set. This semi-truck was out of the budget at the time, and both Christmas and birthday had passed, so he took it upon himself to try to create his own out of spare pieces. The result was so colorful and inspired that we all felt it was even better than the official set itself. He happily improved it and played with that truck for many months.
Not too long ago, he decided to take his beloved semi-truck cab apart. Initially, after some regret, he tried to rebuild it, but he had other plans for SWAT vehicles that took precedence, and the pieces have all been disseminated. During this period of time, he received 6 new small sets, including a rabbit (which unfortunately had a yellow box, sadly exacerbating his disappointment). One big thing was still missing. He no longer had a semi-truck. Asking for this yellow truck set became a daily routine, and as a parent who sees how much these Legos enhance his creativity and learning, I wanted to give him this good thing, to see his smile and watch him build. But there was something holding me back.
'Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" -Matthew 7:9-11
Before I became a parent, I thought of this verse as difficult to reconcile with my experience. How many times had I asked God for something good and not received it? Something like healing, safety, marriage, a child. I couldn't understand how he could say no to these things, sometimes repeatedly, for years. Marriage was the bread, and waiting single and sick without answers was the stone.
In the last few weeks, as my son looks at me with pleading eyes and counts his own money to try to get this good gift, I realize that the good "bread and fish" I want most for him is to have faith and patience (instead of demanding), gratitude and trust (instead of entitlement) - to know how to be content with what he has, to wait with hope. These Good gifts are more important than instant gratification which spoils like a snake. Suddenly I saw - waiting well is the bread, and a good gift at the wrong time can be the stone. God works with me to remind me all the time that He is not a genie granting my wishes - he is my Lord promising to restore all things as I dependently wait on him.
So when I find myself still praying and longing for God to act in this life, I now think of the yellow truck, which is hidden in a shipping box in the hallway. The good things of a redeemed body and world are coming - but it's all coming when His time is perfect, when I have trusted and waited in faith.
I just don't see it yet.
"Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience." -Romans 8:23-25
