What am I waiting for? Who am I waiting for?
We're all waiting for life to get better, right? For that next big thing to make us happy. We're waiting for that special someone. We're waiting for the money to buy that great new toy. We're waiting for a change in government, a change in the economy, a change in our family. We're waiting in line to buy our food, waiting to be healed, waiting for times to get better, waiting for happiness...
Is there anything we can do while we wait? Are we forced to sit here and twiddle our thumbs as our years go streaking past us, one sad, flaming birthday cake at a time? Or is there something active we can do? Can we participate in changing our lives for the better?
Qavah is waiting. But it's a very particular kind of waiting. Qavah is waiting with expectant hope. In today's world, that can sound idealistic, old fashioned, naive, even a little bit foolish. And it is. It's foolish if you are waiting with expectant hope for things that might never come. If you are waiting for people to change who are determined to stay the same, you will be disappointed. If your hope is placed in anything of this world, it may or may not come to pass. What is the sense in waiting on probabilities and statistical uncertainties? There is only One who is worthy of hope. One will never disappoint. Waiting on Him is not being still, but the very opposite-- being transformed. Being changed at the very core is the most productive waiting one can do. It's the waiting I'm doing right now.
But I don't want to be changed, thank you very much! I want THEM to change. I want my CIRCUMSTANCES to change. If only these changes could be made, I would be just fine. Give me my house, my health, my job, my hobbies, and maybe a dog. If I could just escape these health problems, these annoyances, these responsibilities, these people depending on me, this intense pain, I'd be fine.
Here is the bottom line. Change begins in me. It begins in my heart. And it begins the day I see that everything on earth is transitory and decaying. People disappoint. Evil appears to succeed. “Becoming Jane” ends with the guy never getting the girl. Eventually everything will fail, we will die, the earth will end, and we will be face to face with the God who made us.
What did you wait for? Who did you wait for? What were you becoming while you waited?