Blocked

God cares more about your character than your comfort.

I've been getting this message through almost every route imaginable lately. Through Bible study. Through sermons. Through prayer. Through books.  It's clear that God is working, but he's not working to make my life safe and manageable. He's working to transform me on the inside.

This leaves me out of control. Which is a problem. Because I like feeling "in control." In fact, I will sometimes try to organize just to achieve some semblance of order, as if it will calm the inner storm.

Lately I've rediscovered that I enjoy playing the Nintendo game Tetris. When I sit there with the (aptly named) controller in my hand, I feel a sense of well-being.  Since I have power over what happens on the screen, I can orient the blocks to make everything fit together and disappear.

As the levels increase, blocks fall faster. I have to adapt quickly so that the pieces don't hinder my progress. Ultimately, they fall so fast that I can't control them anymore. They pile up and the steel door comes down. Game over.

Like the early levels of Tetris, my difficulties in adolescence used to surface manageably, one at a time. Ultimately things would fall into place, and the problem would disappear.

However, in adulthood my challenges have fallen faster and stayed around longer. The rate of emerging difficulties has become greater than my ability to deal with them. Finally, the steel door comes down. My skills aren't sufficient anymore to play the game.

Paul talks about a similar experience in his own life in 2 Corinthians 1:8-9

"We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life.  Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death." 

When I read that, I find great comfort in Paul's direct admission that there are certain problems in life that are far beyond our ability to endure. God sometimes places us in levels of life-Tetris that we aren't prepared to handle. But why does he do it?  Why would God want us to experience such a sense of powerlessness?

The next verses explain exactly why:

"But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many."

1)  He does it so we will rely not on ourselves but on God. And God has the power to handle these things, proven by his ability to raise Jesus from the dead. We have this power at work in us.

2)  Additionally, it is an opportunity for friends to pray for us and share our burdens, building a sense of love and community. It gives them the blessing of joining in God's work by helping us.

3)  Lastly, these overwhelming sufferings are a chance for the world to see God's glory. When we are ultimately granted God's favor of answered prayer, many will give thanks.

If you are suffering beyond what you can bear, don't feel that you have failed or that you need to somehow find a way to get back in control. Though it may feel terrifying, it is a blessing to be made aware of reality - that none of us is truly in control - God is. When we call upon him in our helplessness, he hears us, others pray for us, and the world will see God work. Our job is not to fix it but to wait on him in faith.

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. 
Lamentations 3:25

Saturated

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."  Proverbs 4:23

When I was a kid, my mom showed me that if you put Queen Anne's lace in colored water, the flowers would draw the water up the stems and eventually the flower itself would turn the color of the water. I was out for a walk on Labor Day, and when I saw some Queen Anne's lace in an empty lot, I picked some to try the experiment again.

As I saw the blue flower on the countertop last week, it made me think about how what I saturate my mind with determines my attitude - and ultimately my actions. People in pain are especially sensitive to their environment, what they see and hear and think about. We are like the flowers whose stems are cut off fresh at an angle, thirsty and drinking up the life-giving water we need so badly. If we drink from a dirty pond, filling our hearts with ugly thoughts, distressing "entertainment," or unhealthy relationships, we will wither. But if we soak up God's word in the Bible and his presence in regular prayer, we are promised to bear fruit that will last, and we will also be gradually transformed in the process to become flush with the hue of our Savior.

"Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me."
John 15:4

Keeping In Step

When I was a kid, my grandma and I would sometimes go walking together. She would wrap her arm around my little shoulders, and I would barely reach up to grab around her waist. Then we'd stop and shuffle and awkwardly skip a minute to get in step with each other. Connected by arms and the rhythm of our feet, we'd then recite this rhyme along to the beat of our pace -

Right!
Right!
You'll never get home with your Right!

Left!
Left!
I Left my wife with 46 kids, the OLD gray mare, and the PEAnut stand!

This would repeat until I would inevitably be giggling with joy over the silly rhyme and trying to stay in step.

There is something about walking in synchrony with someone or with a song that makes my heart more joyful and helps me continue on my path. I was thinking about that the other day as I walked on the treadmill to one of my favorite songs, "The Cave," by Mumford and Sons. Because that song spurred me on in my exercise, I decided to search my collection for more songs at that tempo using a free program called BeaTunes. It helped me to make a playlist on my iPod for songs specifically with a tempo in that range. It's made my walking so much easier and more satisfying.

This made me wonder, is it just me? Is there any science behind this? According to researchers, not only does music combined with exercise clear our minds and make us better able to think, but it also results in the accomplishment of more work without proportional changes in heart rate.

Suffice it to say that when your foot strikes the pavement at the exact moment of that drum in your ear, you are experiencing a kind of synergy - an ease that God built into our bodies to work better and to do more. Like WD40 applied to a squeaky door hinge, we can glide when we are in step with music.

Interestingly, God uses this same kind of language in the Bible when describing how we are to live the Christian life. When we place our faith in Christ, the Holy Spirit comes to dwell in us and be our guide. He 'sets our pace' so to speak in how we should live. Paul wrote to the Galatians that we are to "keep in step with the Spirit."

God wants to use our lives to do good works that he planned in advance specifically for us to do. However, we will struggle with this if we are trying to do good works on our own - making the mistake of attempting to "earn" God's salvation, which is a free gift.

Like walking without a rhythm, left to our own devices we will tire prematurely and the impact of our lives will be extinguished once this earth passes away. It's only by keeping in step with the Holy Spirit that we are empowered to do eternal work for God's kingdom. Even when we are weak and sick - especially when weak and sick - we are called to serve God with joy. The secret is trusting in him to set the rhythm for our lives and not fighting against it.

There was a song that was very popular years ago by Sonic Flood called Resonate. The lyrics caught my attention one day as I listened:

"Let all living things
Praise You with one voice
We will resonate, resonate Your glory"

I was stopped in my tracks when I heard this because we were studying resonance in class. One definition of resonance? "The intensification and enriching of a musical tone by supplementary vibration." We intensify God's rhythm in this world when we match it with the way we live our lives. A little bit off here or there, and we miss the profound amplification of resonance.

Think of it this way - have you ever pushed someone on a swing? You intensify their motion by timing your pushes specifically to their natural rhythm. If you want to slow them down, you just oppose that rhythm. The same is true in our walk with God. By keeping in step with his commands to love him and love others, we will intensify God's movement here on earth and resonate his glory for eternity.


And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.
2 John 1:6

Meditating with Deepak

While watching my nightly dose of Dr. Oz recently, I heard Deepak Chopra give this advice on how to meditate:

"Close your eyes.
Watch your breath for about 5 minutes.
Put your attention on your heart, and ask yourself:
Who am I?
What do I want?
What's my purpose?
You don't need to know the answers. Live the questions, and life will move you into the answers."

When he said that, I wondered if he was kidding. Would it really lower someone's stress level to realize they don't know who they are or what their purpose is in life?

Yet these are life questions, ones that can't be easily ignored. Is it really true that "life will move you into the answers?"

From my experience, life can move you into some pretty destructive answers. How would this philosophy have guided me had I followed it after graduating college?

Left to my own devices, I might have defined myself at the time as an aspiring medical researcher trained in engineering.

Had life been guiding my desires, I might have wanted more notoriety and attention.

Perhaps my purpose in life would have been to pursue a medical breakthrough for cardiac patients and to start a family of my own. Maybe my purpose would have been to make a name for myself.

The only problem with letting life guide my purpose, desires, and identity?
A disabling illness made these answers completely irrelevant.

Had I defined myself by my job, due to illness, I would have been left with no identity.

Had my desires been pinned solely on my own achievement and affirmation, I would have been crushed once it was all taken away.

Had my purpose in life been to accomplish great things and raise a family, I would have been left alone with no real aim.

If I changed the answers to these important questions because of my illness, I'd still be navigating with no compass - building with no foundation. My identity and my purpose must be based on something more concrete than my circumstances, or I am no better than a raft tossed by the sea.

The Bible gives answers to these questions that are unchanging and true. In John 13, Jesus clearly shows his identity, his purpose, and his desire so that we all will have an example to follow and a foundation on which to build our lives.

John says:

"Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love." [His purpose - Dying on the cross to save a lost world and showing the full extent of his love to those who trust Him in faith.]

"Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God;" [His identity - Son of God]

"so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him." [His desire - That after becoming his disciples, we should follow his example to serve others in humility rather than seeking to be served.]

If I live Christ's way, nothing can shake my identity. No circumstance can thwart my purpose. And my desire will never lead me into defeat or destruction. By meditating on the life answers provided by Christ, I can build upon a firm foundation and follow the way to everlasting life.

My identity: Follower of Jesus Christ.
My desire: To please God.
My purpose: To express my love for the One who died to save me by serving others and pointing to the hope of eternal life in Christ.

Are you uncertain about your identity? Do you know what your purpose is? Have your desires gone unfulfilled?

I can personally testify that this world will never guide you into truthful answers. Life on earth is terribly broken. Since the beginning there has been pain and heartache and evil and sin. Nothing in this life is certain or lasting - not money, health, riches, family, or even the length of life itself. But God broke through on a rescue mission to save us. He offered his only Son to us as a sacrifice so that through faith in him, we could have eternal life.

Faith in Jesus offers solid answers to life's big questions that Deepak and this world can't provide. Now that is truth worthy of meditation.

Soul Tan

Due to vitamin D deficiency and to help my circadian rhythm, I've been making an effort to recline in the sun for 15-20 minutes on a regular basis. My regular sun exposure has brought about something foreign and unfamiliar to me - a tan.

Because of my fair skin and impatience, I'm not really into tanning. The only time I've been remotely tan has been on childhood vacations, and even then it was more of a quick burn. However, the tan I have now reflects a build-up of multiple short sun exposures since April. It is an outward reflection of daily discipline.

It occurred to me as I was baking in my outdoor recliner today that my regular sun time had gradually changed my outward appearance just like my daily devotions gradually change my inner-self.

Making an effort to read the Bible consistently has been a struggle for me most of my life. I would get very enthusiastic and motivated, read a lot over a period of days or weeks, and then eventually slip back into sporadic reading, feeling like it wasn't making a noticeable difference.

If there's one thing I've learned from sun exposure this summer, it's that it is not the one 20-minute period that makes a noticeable difference; it is the entire collection of those repeated times that changes me. When I am in a habit of reading God's Word and praying regularly, one devotion may not create a profound impact on my thinking for that particular day, but the habit is what keeps me walking in step with God, repenting quickly when I stumble, and receiving his forgiveness and strength to keep going.

Dr. Charles Stanley once compared our life in this world to a boat on a river with a strong current. If the boat's rope is not tightened securely each morning to the dock, it will eventually drift away down the river and over the waterfall. This world is just like that current - an ever-present force working on our minds and hearts to lull us into going along without God and relying on ourselves to make it through life, ultimately to our ruin. The truth is, if our souls are not anchored to Christ, we will passively slip downstream, away from God.

I'm learning now more than ever how powerful daily habits can be. Negative daily habits can destroy us, while positive habits like prayer and Bible study will gradually change our lives for the better. Never give into the feeling that daily prayers and Bible reading don't make a difference. No matter the trials, distractions, failures, and suffering that may tend to deter you from your discipline, daily "Son exposure" gradually transforms your soul and keeps you firmly anchored to God, our Rock and our Redeemer.

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18 (ESV)

Subsisting on Substitutes

What object, person, or dream have you longed for as your key to happiness in life? What substitute have you looked to for joy instead of Jesus?

We chase after these elusive shadows as if they were solid and lasting. However, they are only meant to stir our hunger, to redirect our gaze - pointing us toward the Author and true fulfillment of our souls.


"The book or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing...they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not yet found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited."
-C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory

Out of Control (in The Hands of The One in Control)

"No one can tell me what I can and can't eat!"

Thus says my grandma with dementia.

It's amazing to me how dementia (much like Alzheimer's) removes all inhibitions and reveals the ugly threads that weave through human nature.

I am no exception to this nature.

When I was a kid, I was considered "strong-willed." My mom read a book about it. This trait was most readily observed by my famous toddler expression of "ME do it" anytime I was confronted with a task on which I received even the faintest suggestion of help. (Eventually I graduated to: "Let me do it on my own.")

I was also an expert at testing my boundaries. When I was a small child, I was informed that our family was going to leave my grandparents' house one evening. Not wanting to go, I refused to budge. I was then given the option of walking out on my own or being carried against my will, to which I stubbornly responded with my own defiant choice: "I'll crawl out."

Yes, God has had his hands full breaking my will to be in control. I have repeatedly been convicted of my desire to drive the boat, so to speak.

It's not hard to see why trusting God is difficult for me. My objective is to avoid discomfort, discipline, and pain. However, God frequently accomplishes his important purposes through these things. How do I respond?

My grandma's response is to lash out in the same way I used to as a child. In her state of being completely dependent on my mom and me for everything because of her failing health and mind, she tries to regain some form of control. In doing so, she defiantly asserts her will in areas that make everyone's life more difficult.

I learn a lot about my childish ways with God when I see my grandma act like that. By refusing to eat simply because she doesn't like being taken to the toilet (or being washed, or given food), she hurts herself the most.

Similarly, when I refuse to pray to God simply because I don't like the circumstances he's put me in, I, also, am hurting myself the most. I need prayer as a protection, as an outlet, as a guide, and for peace during times when life is beyond my influence. It's easy to see lack of prayer as making a point, but God does not respond to my defiant silences. He simply waits for me to come back because I'm hungry for him and nothing on this earth will fully satisfy that hunger.

Even when trials and illness make you feel completely powerless, remember that God is not the enemy. He is the one who will lead us to repentance and peace that passes all understanding, if we would just be still and trust in him.

For the Lamb at the center of the throne
will be their shepherd;
‘he will lead them to springs of living water.’
‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.'”
Revelation 7:17